MY SECRET TOMB: EPISODE 42
I gathered the courage and shared with my pastor my struggles with sin. The fact that he didn’t condemn me gave me much courage to share.
“Pastor… At times I feel like a hypocrite! I feel like I’m taking Jesus for granted! In my heart I really don’t want to yield to masturbation or pornography and all the other sins. I put measures in place not to! I just find myself doing it. But I want to break free!”
He listened to me attentively as I spoke. “Ralph! You can break free from all this! This is the whole reason why Jesus came! It is the whole reason why he died on the cross: to set us free! And he has set you free! You have to consciously make the effort to live by the Spirit! And that is through constant studying of the word and prayer! And though the temptations and sinful desires will still be around us, you won’t yield since the power of sin and the flesh is weakened when we live by the Spirit!”
“Pastor… Hmm… At first I’d get the prompting within whenever I start to have the desire to sin! But I don’t get that anymore! My conscience seems dead, Pastor! And my sins don’t seem bad to me; they’ve become normal to me since I habitually yield! I don’t hear that voice telling me not to sin again! Does it mean that the Holy Spirit has left me?”
“Ralph! No, the Holy Spirit hasn’t left you. It’s just that willful disobedience and habitual sinning makes us perceive his voice and his direction less! Our consciences make us know what is right and what is wrong! And when people give themselves off to disobeying the voice of God’s Spirit and make sin a habit, soon certain ‘wrongs’ wouldn’t seem wrong to them anymore because sin mars the ability of the conscience and your ability to perceive the voice of the Holy Spirit!”
Pastor Obiri made us read Hebrews 9:14 which explained that in as much as Jesus’ blood is able to cleanse us of all our sins, His blood is also able to cleanse our consciences from sinful deeds so that we can serve God.
He then helped me pray renouncing all my sinful acts and asked God to cleanse me with the blood of Jesus! Then we prayed fervently for the blood of Jesus to cleanse and purify my conscience of all sinful acts that have become normal and habitual to me!
I felt really refreshed afterwards! But I had one other problem which I wanted to share with him. And I got to know later that was a problem for many other believers!
©Dorothy Budu-Arthur, 2016