MY SECRET TOMB: EPISODE 31
As I tossed and turned in bed, I picked my Bible to read the Scripture Pastor had asked us to read.
“Therefore let us also, seeing we are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us.” I read, and that was enough for me to start imagining.
Wondering what this great cloud of witnesses is, I checked from the previous chapter which spoke about all the men and women of faith in the Bible. I started to imagine myself as being in a stadium in a track for an athletic race! I imagined the likes of Abraham, or David and Noah as the spectators who were watching and cheering that I’d run the race well.
It made me shed tears as I wondered how they would have felt anytime I gave myself to sinful desires. Had they felt disgusted, thinking that this guy is supposed to running the race as a Christian, yet he has forgotten about the race and had focused on lusts of the flesh?
I got struck with how another Bible version put it:
“…STRIP DOWN, START RUNNING- and NEVER QUIT! No EXTRA SPIRITUAL FAT, no PARASITIC SINS! KEEP YOUR EYES ON JESUS, who began and finished this race we’re in. STUDY HOW HE DID IT…”
“Spiritual fat… Parasitic sins… Study how He did it!” I thought about these things.
The scripture said again that keep your eyes on Jesus. Had I kept my eyes on Jesus? No, I hadn’t kept my eyes on Jesus entirely! Most often than not, the flesh had my attention.
I wept as I went down on my knees in front of my bed, I wanted to tell the Lord that I was sorry, but I couldn’t find the words to. As I was on my knees my mum came to my room. She saw the tears in my eyes.
“Son! Hey! What is it? Are you okay?”
I wasn’t okay. At this point I realized that I needed help! I needed to break free from my addictions and besetting sins! I opened up to her, and told her about how I felt like I had betrayed Jesus. My mum wept. She couldn’t imagine that I’d have secret sins.
“Son… it’s okay! Alright? Never for once think that God doesn’t love you anymore! And it’s because of this love that you’ve come to this point of repentance!” mum consoled. “And remember what 1 John 2:1 says… I am writing this to you so that you will not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate who pleads our case before the Father. He is Jesus Christ, the righteous one.”
That evening, my mum helped me to pray confessing my sins and asking God for forgiveness. After that, I made up my mind to share my struggles with my pastor. I resolved not to entertain sin anymore. I needed God’s help!
©Dorothy Budu-Arthur, 2016