“Ralph! Ralph!” Mum screamed out into my ears.

 And that was when I came back to reality only to realize that my mum and my two brothers were staring at me strangely. I didn’t even realize when she got done with talking to dad over the phone. I had been in deep thoughts again. 

“Son, is everything okay? Are you okay? You just went blank! You didn’t even hear me when I asked you to pray with us so we go to bed!” mum asked being concerned. She then checked my temperature by placing the back of her hand on my forehead.

“Mum I’m okay!” I said to her as I stood up. 

“Are you sure?”

“I’m okay, let’s pray!”

 But they weren’t convinced. 

Kakra looked worried. Panyin however had a look on his face which seemed to say ‘there is something wrong with Bro.’ He looked at me queerly as if to find the answers on my face. 

“Ralph! Are you sure?” mum asked again. 

“Yes mum! I’m fine!” I said with a broad smile trying to convince her. “I was only thinking about the songs to minister at church tomorrow, you know!” that was a lie. 

“O okay Son that’s very fine! You know, I’m so proud of you dear! God is going to take you far!” Mum said. “Alright! Lead us to pray then!” 

So I lead the family to pray. I feigned to be okay before them. Mum bid us good night then we all dispersed to our rooms. 

Deep down I was worried and afraid. I knew I was going to struggle with the flesh again when I get to my room; when I am alone in my closet.

 And I knew that the likelihood for me to give in was going to be high. I knew that it was going to be a struggle even getting on my knees to pray. I knew I needed help! My spirit was crying. My soul was weary! But the flesh seemed to be winning and jubilating!

 I wondered if other believers out there were also struggling with the flesh with all of its sinful and lustful desires.

Or was it just me?

©Dorothy Budu-Arthur, 2016

WordPress:   https://dorothybuduarthur.wordpress.com/

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