It seemed like a revival was breaking forth. Even the ushers were falling. Suddenly I heard Janelle scream out loud, then fell to the ground and broke down in tears.

“Ei what’s happening?” I thought to myself.

The evangelist continued to minister, and Janelle continued to shed tears profusely. Many other people were also crying.

Then he began to sing the song “There is a sweet anointing in this sanctuary. There is a stillness in the atmosphere. O come lay down the burdens you have carried, for in this sanctuary God is here.”

As though drawn by some magnetic force, people suddenly began to run the front in tears and in surrender. Janelle was one of them. The evangelist had not even made an altar call, yet they all rushed to the front. They surrendered their lives to Christ that day, and many received both physical and emotional healing.

I remained dumbfounded throughout the rest of the program. When it ended, I really didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to ask Janelle what happened.

After they had gone to meet the crusade and discipleship team, Janelle came to me and just said, “T.A Fred, God is real! His love is real! He’s lifted my burden of many years! I feel free! I feel liberated! I feel loved” Then she began to cry again.  I was quite confused as I didn’t know what to do still. I realized that she wanted to talk. So I got a place for us to sit.

“I think this crusade was meant for me. You know, I’ve carried hurts and resentments for years. I’ve hated men in general, because of how abusive I knew the men in my life to be…”

“Hmm!” I sighed.

“I was the only child of my parents. When I was a child, I observed so many instances where my dad brutally abused my mum. It was brutal. She lost many pregnancies due to that. And I wasn’t spared either… I was physically abused many times by my own father…. So, my mum and I decided to run away after one of such incidences. Unfortunately, my mum had had a miscarriage again due to that… We went to my uncle’s house in another town. He lived alone with his son. Over there, mum bled and bled till she died. Some of the products of conception had actually remained in her womb after the miscarriage… and that made her bleed till her she died. I blamed my dad for my mum’s death. I hated him from then. And I hated God too. I used to ask myself where he was in all that….” she sobbed

“… And as though all that wasn’t enough… Life became a living hell for me… My uncle’s son started to abuse me…sexually…. I was only 14 by then… Almost every night, he would come to my room and rape me…it went on for long. I became fearful and depressed. I felt like taking my own life… then later, I decided that I had to fight for myself…

“One night, I decided to a knife under my pillow, with the idea of threatening him with it so he won’t rape me again. That night he came again. I pulled out the knife. I told him to back off. But he wouldn’t… He started unzipping… I told him to stop… Hut he wouldn’t … He started to struggle with me… I told him to stop…But he wouldn’t…He tried to take off my clothes…I told him to stop…”

She halted as she burst into tears again.


“And what happened?” I asked her empathetically.

“He didn’t stop!  I stabbed him with the knife! I stabbed him! I don’t know what came over me!”

I felt so sad for her.

“My uncle suddenly appeared. He rushed his son to the hospital. But he died on the way. He hated me. He knew about all that his son was doing to me, but he never asked him to stop… It was reported to the police… I had to defend myself… I told them of the number of times he had sexually abused me… and how I decided to use the knife to my defense should he try to abuse me again….. The long and short, my uncle ejected me from his house. I became a wanderer.

“Then later I met a certain woman, who said she would help me… Give me a place to sleep then cater for my education…On one condition: that I work for her during the vacation period.  The work was to be… a stripper…T.A Fred, I feel ashamed sharing these things…

“At the age of 17, I was introduced to nudity and stripteasing… the targets mostly were married men… What we did was to take videos of that… Then later we anonymously blackmail them with the threat that we’ll show it to their wives. That’s how I’ve been surviving. To me it was an opportunity to take revenge on men. To crush them… To destroy them… through that I made money… through that I even got my car…

“The tattoo at my back… I modified it… from a scar that formed after my dad had physically abused me on one occasion… Looking at what I’ve been through and how my mum died, I modified the scar with the tattoo. If you’re to take a critical look at my tattoo, it’s of a man whose head is being crushed by the heel of a woman… Cuz I had vowed to crush men… that’s why I didn’t spare that lecturer. He really asked for sexual favors from me, if not he would fail me… so I acted like I had agreed, then took a video… And I felt happy knowing that I had destroyed and disgraced him…

“During one time I had gone to the club to ‘work’, I was taken into one room to striptease  a certain man. When I got there, I quickly recognized the man…a shameless and heartless man…

“Who was it?” I asked her.

“My own Father!”


Dorothy Budu-Arthur


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